Studies support the idea that by showing compassion and forgiveness to the very ones we so despise, are hurt by, or wish to get even with, we can actually improve our health and reduce our stress.  Think about this:  You have been arguing with or hurt by someone for years over something you feel very strongly about.  Finally, after all this time going back and forth, backbiting and bickering, you finally “win” the disagreement somehow.  You are victorious; you are triumphant . . . maybe.  But how do you really feel inside?  Are you satisfied to the degree you expected?  Probably not.  Did the “winning” make you a better person, help your relationship, or enhance your outlook on life and your ability to set an example for your kids?  Probably not.  No, it more than likely feels somewhat hollow and empty, for you have further isolated yourself for the mere sake of just being right.  Seems a little exhausting now, right?

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital.  Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response.  Those changes, then, increase the risk of conditions such as depression, heart disease, and diabetes.  The risk is increased because when we subject our bodies to the constant “fight or flight” of the anger or hurt, our systems have to work overtime . . . and that is exhausting to your systems and to you.

The importance of forgiving is not limited to situations involving living and breathing persons who are currently moving in and out of their daily lives.  You can forgive someone who is completely gone from your life or who has passed on.  This is because the entire forgiveness process isn’t about the “someone” or something you are forgiving.  This entire process is about you.  In fact, people tell us in our Private Treatment programs that by doing the Morter Forgiveness Process – The 5 Steps of Forgiveness – they experience decreased levels of self-negativity, anger, and hostility.  They feel increased control over their negative responses.  They feel more free to experience love, socialize, and interact more positively with their families, friends, and spouses.

Link to Morter March Monday Rebroadcast